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01-Oct-2017 23:31

From my experience, and the women I’ve worked with and talked to around New Zealand, that’s not most of what it looks like.

In the refuge there are mostly women whose abuse is mostly verbal, emotional and psychological.

The first time I met Aunty Jackie she was flashing her breasts at an MRA activist on Queen Street at the end of the Women’s March.

“It was the only thing that would shut him up,” she guffawed, weeks later in The Spinoff board room.

My thing has always been that Aunties give what they can, when they can.

I don’t care how much it is, it’s just that you put your heart into it when you do. Having worked closely with the refuge, what are some of the misconceptions around domestic violence in New Zealand? Look, it’s a great movie with great acting but it’s completely fallacious.

I figured out that kids are happy when families are happy, particularly the mothers.

I’m being very gender-specific about that because I was working in a community where fathers were not the sole caregivers.

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When she’s not owning MRA’s on Queen Street, you may have seen Jackie in various corners of the internet, working for The Aunties as a 24 hour a day community noticeboard, collecting donations for a number of Auckland women’s refuges, from whiteware to tampons, Christmas gifts to blue hair dye.

We had a real bad spate of unhappy children and we realised that their families were always either disrupted, unsettled, had mothers or fathers in prison, financial struggles or domestic violence issues.